pa-uwi palang ako nung may tumwaga sa cellphone ko, ring ito ng ring na di ko makuha dahil nasa ilalim ng bag ko. nung naabot ko na, yung kapatid ko pala yung tumatawag. hinintay ko ulit yung call niya pero after nung last missed call di na siya tumawag. di ko nalang pinansin dahil baka my ginawa pa at di na ulit tumawag. 

dumating na ako sa bahay ng bigla akong naka-kita ng tao sa loob ng bahay, dali-dali kong kinuha yung pamalo at sabay sigaw "HOI, SINO KA?!" nag bigalang nag laho ito pag-pasok ko sa pintuan. 

kinilabutan ako ng labis at biglang nag ring ulit yung cellphone ko. sinagot ko agad ng "teh, anu ba? ginulat mo naman ako eh. bakit ka ba tawag ng tawag eh pwede naman sa text nalang." 

paiyak na sinagot ng kapatid ko yung tanong ko, sabi niya "lokaret ka din pala, nag-aalala kami para sayo. di mo ba alam na naacidente yung best friend mo?"

bigla akong napa upo sa sahig, bumuhos yung luha sa mga mata ko at doon ko nakita yung picture nga matalik kong kaibigan. di ko man lang siya naka usap, sabi ko sa kapatid ko "wag na wag kang mag bibiro ng ganyan, sisipain kita!"

"anu ka ba? bat kita lolokohin eh nasa news ko nalaman" sabi naman ng ate ko.

from that moment, doon ko lang na realize na ang oras ng isang tao ay napa ka importante. kahit man 15 minuets lang malaking bagay na yung para sa kanila. 

nakapag paalam na ako sa kanya ngunit masakit parin tangapin na yung taoon minahal mo ay wala na sa piling mo.

masaya na siya sa langit, tangap ko na di yun. mag kikita nalang kami sa iba pang panahon. 

Strangers, Again

 pipay

 

I saw a video today, its about a couple who feel in love with each other. then time came one of them grew apart, unfortunately they came back from where they have started, strangers again. the ironic things in love is when you finally found the person for you everything change. 

In the video the director Philip Wang states that there are stages in a relationship. those stages defy the possibilities of what will happen next, what are the odds, and what will be the outcome of your relationship. taking the next step is not a joke, you must be prepared mentally and most of all emotionally.

Stage 01 (The Meeting) <---- its when we finally found the one person that completes us, for me my one and only penguin. we make it a point that when its the right time to make a move, we show that person what we are capable of. thru thick and thin we find ways to let them know we are always there for them, we make them laugh, we lend them a hand when they feel alone. in my case, i gave him half of me.

Stage 02 (The Chase) <---- this is the stage when we find what makes our partners laugh, what scares them, what makes them cry, or even what makes them giggle. other people think that if u find your other half then that's enough, mind you you'll regret everything if you never gave that person on hell of happy memory. others think material things will do the job, but nope. you'll just end up packing loads of boxes of small knock knacks. a lot of love will do the trick.

Stage 03 (Honeymoon) <---- this is the time when the both of you finally became a couple, planning the future together, hoping for the best. 

Stage 04 (Comfortable) <---- this part is when it'll get messy. its the part when the both of you realized that nothings changing, but soon everything is different. this stage is when you cant stop arguing with each other, complaining of the small mistakes, hurting each other deeply. what i hate most in this stage is when you'll never know that word hurt, then eventually the both of you decided that its time to end things. 

those were the stages stated in the video, for those who are reading this blog try to watch the video. it'll all make sense because after stage 04 that's the time when the both of you will decide if you're ready for the next level. if you can fix what problems you have and find ways to compromise with each other, then that's the time to take the next step. Marriage comes next, marrying the person you love is one of the most rewarding gift a person can have. love has always been guiding us for the life we hold.

have fun watching... =)   

Smile :)
 pipay

It was amazing to finally realize that i utter the word "MOVED ON" freely. funny thou, but i saw something in me that made me realize that we were never really cut out in this kind of relationship. that kind of mutual attraction is not enough for love to last. 

hoping to see you smile was my sign to let you go. its not any other smile, its has a meaning to me. its like seeing u for the fist time, holding your hand when we finally talked, making every second last because it might end as soon as we part. its the smile when we first met. how i wished we could go back, how i wished i could change everything for you. maybe you've  change your mind and stayed.

when i saw you yesterday, that was the time i promised to myself that i have to let you go, God gave me another chance to take a leap of faith and move on. your a good person, any woman would give everything as long as they get to know you first, because i would. i dedicate this blog to the one person that i've loved long ago, this is my last blog about you because its time for  my heart to  move on and my mind to forget you. i'll pray to the Lord above to give u a woman that will make you happy... 

seeing you smile is the sign that its time for  me to say goodbye...

what i see...

when i have nothing to do, i take shots of common things around me and make them look even more interesting... here are sample of my shots taken from a construction site that i was working for. 

ROCKS

this shot was taken from a pile of rocks 

that was excavated from the lot. 

above it was planks of wood, 

the holes projected the light 

at the center of the rocks.  

 

DEBRIS

this shot was taken from

small rocks and peaces of chopped wood

that was used for the scaffolding.

COCO LUMBER

as you can see, half of it was torn apart,

but it is still used to hold the forms of the beams.

USED NAILS

more of this nails are used and recycled. 

ZIPPER

this shot was taken from the zipper of my folder.

SKULL

this  shot was taken from a cellphone keychain.

the chain was designed from the mask of the

character in the anime "Bleach"

BOYSEN

this shot was taken at the room of 

a residence in V&G Subdivision .

an upside down Boysen can laying

above a pile of rocks.

Photos of:

Ember's Photography

and 

Uniquely Sgarffito

katolikong dilat...

Ngayong Simana Santa, marami sa ataing mga pinoy ang may kanya kanayang panata. ang iba ay nagpa-papako sa krus katulad ni Jesus Christ, ang iba namana ay nag Bisita Iglesia, meron din nag novena. at yung walang sasakayan katulad ko, eh nag-mumukmok sa bahay at mag-dadasal nalang mag-isa.

namatay si Jesus para sa mga kasalanan ng tao, itinuring siyang sinungaling nga mga tao noon dahil sa mali nilang paniniwala. the people before were blinded by reality, kaya siguro nila na condemn si Jesus because mas pinaniwalaan nila yung mga kasinungalingan ng iba. pero di ito naging hadlang upang maipamulat ng mga Apostles ni Jesus na dapat tayo mag repent at ibinuwis ni Jesus ang kanayang buhay para sa atin. ganun niya tayo kamahal.

 

simula nung bata pa ako, sa tuwing Holy Week my game plan kami ng family ko. yung paborito kong gawin noon tuwing Holy Week eh mag Bisita Iglesia, pupunta kami sa seven na simbahan at doon may aalaya ng prayers. 

enjoy ako sa ganitong settings dahil umiikot kami sa ibat ibang simbahan sa aming lugar. minsan umaabot pa kami sa Palo, doon matatagpuan ang simbahan ng Archbishop. makakakita ka ng mga tao na nag papasan ng krus, ang iba naman ay nag-lalakad ng naka paa papuntang simbahan. at ang iba ay gumagamit ng lubid at hinahampas ang kanilang likod.

sa dinami dami nating paniniwala, ang Holy Week ang siyang pinaka mahiwaga ko sa lahat. dahil hindi araw-araw na pwede tayo mag pinetensya, o di kaay mag pasan ng krus. katulad nga ina ko, deboto siya sa simbahang katoliko, tinuturo niya sa amin na ang pag pinetensya ay isa din paraaan para mapakita natin sa Diyos na pinag sisisihan natin ang ating mga kasalanan. pero huwag naman tayo ma carried ayaw, what i mean is that kung di nating kaya mag papako sa krus eh pwede naman tayo mag lakad nalang nga walang tsinelas papuntang simbahan. as long as we are sincere with asking forgiveness for our sins, eventually papatawarin tayo nga Diyos. 

bukod  pa dito, huwag natin kalimutan na pasalamatan si Jesus Christ dahil inalay niya ang kanyang buhay para sa atin. kung kaya niya ito, dpata kahit konting oras mag alay naman din tayo para sa kanya. huwag tayong maging katolikong dilat na kutulad ng ibang tao na pakitang tao na mabuti pero napaka sama nmn ng ugali. 

Have a Blesses Holy Week... =)

nawala ang antok...

-muling nasakatn ang puso ko-

Minsan nung mga bata palang tayo, tinanong kita kung mahal mo ako. Ang sabi mo, “Oo, pero my nahanap na akong iba.” Nasaktan ako ng labis, pero di ito nagging rason para kalimutan ko yung nararamdaman ko para sayo. 

Dumaan ang panahon at bigla nalang nawala yung communication natin, gayun paman umaasa parin ako na mag bago yung dinarama ng puso mo.

Isang araw, bigla nalang nag email ka saken. Then I added you up on YM para makapag-chat tayo. Doon ko nalaman na nasa ibang bansa ka  na pala, nag babakasakaling makahanap nga magandang buhay. nalaman ko na hiwalay ka na sa previews mong relationship, and may natitipuhan kang iba. Out of the blue, pabiro kitang tinanong kung di parin ba nag babago yung feelings mo para saken. I was expecting too much and then “BANG!” ayun sapul nanaman, sabi mo “you’re like a sister to me”. Sapul na sapul sa puso ko, parang sinaksak ako ng balisong and direct hit pa sa center ng heart ko.

Nung mga oras na yung, doon ko na realize na ayaw ko nang umasa pa. sobra akong nasakatan. Kaya sa tuwing makikita kita, iniiwasan kita, kung sa chat after 5 replies offline na ako or invi. Then one day, nag msg ka sa ym ko, sabi ko busy ako. The out of the blue “I LOVE YOU” was the last 3 words I read.

Tingin mo ba magiging masaya ako? And that I would jump up and down of joy and happiness because after 9 years of friendship ngayun mo lang inamin saken? O di kaya mag papamisa ako dahil sawakas nag bago na yung tibok nga puso mo?

Sadly, hindi.

Mas nasakatan pa ako, dahil alam kong babawiin mo ito. 

I was right…

Di na dapat akong umasa sayo, dahil saying lang yung feelings ko… 

I love you as a friend, I think that’s enough love for you…

<------ please dont pull me down

minsan ko lang inasam na umasenso naman ang buhay ko, kumita ng pera para mabuhay. aaminin ko, umiiral minsan yung ugali kong "crab mentality" pero nasa lugar naman. di ko pinabayaan yung pag aaral ko, natapos ko on time ate naka graduate ako ng isang napaka-gandang kurso. kaso lang, takot ako mag take nga board exam dahil sa wala akong confidence na e-pasa ito. stupid man yung reason ko pero dapat ko parin panindigan kung anu mn an natapos ko, yan ang tunay na pinoy "Walang Inuurungan". 

kaso lang, kulang ako sa puhunan para makapag review, ayaw ko namang umasa sa magulang ko nga sobra kasi they tend to expect to much. i dont want them to be disappointed. kaya gumawa ako ng paraan upang makapag-ipon, at eto nag babakasakali na matangap ng isang firm sa Cebu para makapag trabaho ako. kahit 6 months okay lang, pwede na yung para makapag ipon. alam ko na tutlungan ako ni Lord, pasaway mn ako pero i always have faith in him... ika ng "only God  knows" siya na ang bahala saken.

yung pinuputok lang ng butchi ko ngayon eh yung kapatid kong nakakatanda, lama niya kung anu yung palno ko sa buhay. alam niya na nag-apply ako para matustusan ko yung review ko, sa umpisa sinuportahan niya ako. pero ngayon, nag bago nanaman yung utak niya, yung masakit pa nito eh ipina mumuka pa niya saken na tapusin ko dw muna yung O.J.T. ko. tapos na ako dun, paralang nag extend ako ngayon para mag bigay panahon dun sa hinihintay kong trabaho sa Cebu. doon ko nakita, its like she doesn't want me to succeed, di ko naman kailangn yung pera niya, at mas lalo na ayaw kong utangin niya yung pondo sa review ko. alam ko kasi na balang araw, ipa-mumuka niya ito saken. 

ayaw kong tumunganga lang sa sulok at maging palamunin. gusto ko kahit konti may mabahagi naman ako sa pamilya ko. maibalik ko sa kanila yung hirap na dinaanan nila nung pinag-aral nila ako. Lord, ikaw na ang bahala saken.